"You've made it this far. What difference will it make?"
Why should we seek an ADHD diagnosis as an adult?
With ADHD research & awareness rising exponentially, we must ask (and answer) the question:
What difference will it make?
Put simply; it makes an enormous bloody difference.
The reason we’re seeing so many adults being diagnosed, is because of just how many people went undiagnosed for decades.
Let me paint a picture of what life is like growing up completely unaware of your neurodevelopment condition…
You start your life as a sociable, energetic, happy individual who seeks deeper understanding of everything you encounter. You excelled in certain things in school. Life felt good.
You love to know the ‘why’ behind what you see & hear.
Initially, people find it cute. They say you’re just so inquisitive.
But then we get a little older, inquisitive turns into picky, cute turns into frustrating.
People snap & shout when you ask why. People tell you not to ask so many questions. “Just get on with it” they’d say.
Let’s fast forward to high school shall we?
Your body’s changing. There’s hair where there wasn’t before the summer holiday. Spots are popping up. Emotions are all running high, swift and intense.
Your teachers & parents still don’t like you asking questions. You tend to avoid doing so nowadays. It’s easier to keep quiet. Stick to the curriculum.
The sociable side of you is still kind of there. But it’s accompanied by a nagging feeling that your peers are simply better than you., happier than you.
Happiness is still there, sometimes. Not like when you were young though. Lately the happiness seems to have a shadow. Shortly after feeling happy we begin to implode with anxious reflection.
“I was definitely talking too much. People got bored listening to me”
“I shouldn’t have gone; they’re probably having more fun since I left”
Eventually it gets easier to just not go at all, and avoid the self-inflicted post-social heartache.
Despite excelling as a child school became quite difficult as a teen. The aforementioned social problems are a big contributor; but the education side of things became much heavier.
You forget about assignments. Mornings are a mountain resulting in making it just about on time, or being late. Sleep is gradually worsening because you’re up late at night just thinking.
You’re always being told “You must try harder” despite feeling like you have no more ‘try’ left. You’re trying your best every single day but you still can’t seem to do what other’s appear to have no issue with.
You might’ve done okay at school in the end. Last-minute panic revising combined with pre-exam nerves meant that you mainly got by, or even better sometimes.
Next thing you know you’re in your mid 20’s. You’ve had A LOT of different jobs. People say “It’s all experience” but in your mind it’s a series of failings where you either became overwhelmed, or lost interest altogether.
You spoke to your doctor before about the stress you felt, the restlessness, your low mood, poor self-esteem, your social anxiety. Time & time again you’ve been told its work-related stress, it’s just anxiety, or depression, or both.
You take the medication. You try to eat right. You keep active. Go outdoors. But none of it helps.
Miraculously, you happen to stumble across on social media.
You see hundreds & hundreds of people talking about the way their ADHD impacts them, the signs & symptoms, how to treat it, good places to learn.
Better yet; so many of these people were diagnosed as adults.
They’re just like you.
After months spent reading about ADHD. Completing dozens of online tests and seeing ‘moderate to high’ every time. You decide to approach your doctor to discuss it. They think you could potentially have ADHD and they refer you to a specialist.
Let’s fast forward again - mainly because the next several years are usually spent waiting for an assessment. We’ll rant about this another time.
“Combined Type Adult Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder”
You blink slowly. Making sure you’ve not misread.
Nope. It definitely says ADHD. Holy shit.
Wanna know what I did after my assessment?
I cried my eyes out. And I called my in-laws to tell them the news.
It’s difficult to describe the magnitude of the relief you feel after reading this.
For the first time in your life you feel like you get it.
Now you understand why you’ve been clinging on the whole time, finding it more and more difficult with each year that passed.
Now you understand that you have a completely different nervous system to the majority of the people you’ve encountered.
Now you understand that other people have been living in a society that was built the way they need it to be.
What comes next?
The post-diagnosis journey is no joyride. You’re hit with wave after wave of sadness, joy, and everything in between.
You grieve a life you never got to live. One that wasn’t doused in pain. One in which you didn’t feel so alone.
You get angry. Angry at family who never picked up on it, or at least, never did anything about what they noticed. You get angry at the numerous doctors who failed to identify your issues. You get angry at the friends who walked away because you were too intense or needy.
While the beginning of the post-diagnosis journey is challenging; it soon makes way for something you never thought you’d see.
Peace.
Peace in knowing that your ‘personal flaws’ are actually medical symptoms.
Peace in knowing that you’re not alone. Not by a long shot.
Peace in finding community from across the globe.
Peace in realising that you can finally stop beating yourself up and just be.
Not to mention that, once formally diagnosed, another world of treatments and strategies become available to you.
Once you begin to understand how a dopamine deficiency impacts your entire body, once you understand that burnout looks a lot like depression, once you understand that fidgeting and restlessness is your brain’s way of seeking stimulation…
You can start to work WITH your brain for once!
We’ve continually been told to do the opposite of what we need.
Overstimulated? Just chill out!
NO! Move your body, release that energy!
Under stimulated? Just focus, try harder.
NO! Split the task up. Plan movement breaks. Plan rewards.
A diagnosis is SO much more than a label.
It’s a key to finally being able to live life on your terms.
To seek the necessary accomodations.
To cater to your own needs.
To be who you really are.
Chris & Sarah launched Hey!DHD to continue raising awareness about ADHD, and support those who are trying to navigate their diagnosis. Having spent the best part of 3 decades undiagnosed, they know about the difficulties we’ve overcome.
Hey!DHD’s mission is to show people how amazing life can become once you accept your diagnosis and do everything in your power to use it to your advantage.
Are you ready to learn & grow?
Fantastic